I haven’t been posting much lately, working in other directions, but something happened this week that brought me back to the pedestrionic path… Namely, and I am sure many of you have seen this already… Justin Bieber’s Restaurant Piss-capade.
TMZ was first to break this story, if that’s what you want to call it, since the video is obviously shot from the mobile of one of his cohort, co-conspirators, best-buddies… One of the self-proclaimed Wild Kidz, as stated in the video clip.
The video, which documents (or at least implies) that Bieber and his entourage entered the kitchen of the restaurant in search of a toilet… Not finding one conveniently located directly in their path, and with Bieber about to wet himself, good ol’ Justin whips it out and relieves himself in a mop bucket.
We swagger, man! You know? This is just a little walk to piss.
Yes, of course “swagger” justifies this action!
I am certain that the other patrons of the restaurant will forgive you pissing where their food is being prepared … based upon your supreme swagger!
That’s the coolest spot to piss. You know, you’ll forever remember that.
Yes, of course if there is anything I would not want to forget it would have to be the honor of being in the presence of Justin Bieber while he urinates.
You’re not gonna remember him pissing in the restroom. Like, everybody does that.
Uh, yes, most civilized people do use the restroom for these purposes. And, I still wonder what makes Justin Bieber relieving himself a memorable act? Is this a “brush with fame” story one would want to tell their grandkids?
I will stop here for a moment, because I want to consider something else about this video….
WHO IS THIS GUY?
Apparently he is not one of the Wild Kidz, but is his association with Bieber or with the restaurant? Either way this is a bit problematic. If his association is with Bieber — a handler, a publicist, or a much needed chaperone — some level of intervention might have been a good idea. If he works for the restaurant — a manager, a maitre’d, a partner — it might be time to call the health department.
That said, if he is a publicist, and considering that Bieber has his back to the camera as he (supposedly) urinates, this might just be one big stunt. The guys does seem to be looking at the camera as if to make sure everything is captured… And, he is the only person with a view of the act itself. Then again, he maybe a handler and his position at the base of the stairs is strategic — to block staff from putting a stop to the whole thing.
Perhaps the most perplexing aspect of the video is the political commentry Bieber offers as the video ends… Armed with a spray bottle of window cleaner, Beiber inexplicably attacks a picture of Bill Clinton tacked to a bulletin board, while his cohort woops it up, screaming “Wild Kidz, wooooooo!!!” as a sort of verbal tagging. Huh?
Sean O’Neal from A.V. Club offers an explanation for these actions, proclaiming (albeit ironically) That Justin Bieber is a serious artist, connecting the piss-capade to Duchamp, reading his closing defacing of Clinton as a political gesture, “The symbolism is clear: Bill Clinton, his reputation once stained by his own swagger, has been absolved and abluted by time; once again the Whitewater rolls right off of him, the weak, directionless spray of a feckless idiot.”
Though this interpretation is interesting, it perhaps misses more troubling issues that may have lead to the incident. Over at Holy Taco Ian Fortey spectulates that Bieber may in fact be suffering from Overactive Bladder — ” Imagine how he’d suffer if he was unable to pee when he needed to.” or, perhaps suffering from Macular Degeneration and couldn’t tell it wasn’t a toilet. Though these are significant health concerns, and at least the first would make the act forgivable at some level, most of the comments attempting to justify the actions address his faultlessness in any and everything…
Returning to one of the quotes mentioned above: You’re not gonna remember him pissing in the restroom. Like, everybody does that.
I can practically imagine an escalation from this…. An army of true Beliebers outdoing each other…. evnetually the quote above replaced with:
You’re not gonna remember him pissing in the mop bucket. Like, everybody does that.
At the moment, all I can think or say, is a quote from the very end of the video:
WHO STOLE MY BEER?